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World history books for the undetermined future will not be complete without the chapter about the year 2020 CE, when professional and amateur races all over the world were cancelled to bestow Alex Howes, United States National Road Cycling Champion, a 2nd consecutive, year-long term with the title. The ceremonious event that has never before arisen in the history of sport, impacting the entire country and the whole world, that is still being celebrated this very day, was indeed so historical that the word, "unprecedented" was invented.
unprecedented [uhn-pres-i-den-tid] adjective – without previous instance; never before known or experienced; unexampled or unparalleled
The Complete and Unpresidented [sic] List of Modern American Pride™ is not complete without citing Alex Howes as the 2019 winner of U.S. National Road Cycling Championships and the 2020 default champion. It has since been amended:
- Freedom to live in Walmart parking lots
- Freedom of motor vehicle size
- Freedom of volume of pants legs
- Freedom of quantity of shorts pockets
- Right to indefinite quantity of frozen food purchase
- Freedom of volume of Italian Ice bucket manufacturing
- Right to size of tiny bites
- Freedom to bear fireworks
- Right to fire ban subjectivity
- Right to bare bottom nudity
- Right to idolize U.S. National Road Cycling Champion, Alex Howes
- Right to cancel U.S. National Road Cycling Championships to award consecutive titles to U.S. National Road Cycling Champion, Alex Howes
Since documenting the episode, two unprecedented and unpresidented amendments have been made (*sorry, photographs 2 hot 4 blog):
- Freedom to recreationally recreationalize*
- Right to bare bottom nudity by fireworks*
What a wonderful world. We have so much to live for and look forward to. Thank you for joining us. Bless!